Self-esteem.
I will keep those first things first in my life, every day by choosing to think and act in accordance with reason, purpose and SELF-ESTEEM.
Do you feel that you deserve to be happy?
Do you feel guilty about wanting to be happy?
If you need to ponder those things, in any way, shape or form, then your self-esteem is not where it should be.
Of course, if you do not value REASON as an ultimate value, then your lack of self-esteem may in fact be warranted, because you recognize, at least subconsciously that you are avoiding your responsibility to think and act rationally and as a result you have mixed feelings about yourself.
On the one hand, you may actually gravitate towards feeling like a victim of circumstances beyond your control, because you are not comfortable with facing the reality of your own responsibility for your situation.
This may seem harsh to some but the inevitable result of not clearly and rationally choosing and defining your own values is perennial self-doubt i.e. low self-esteem.
A lot of pop psychology admonishes you to love yourself and use positive affirmations, and while these may have some benefit, they lack the underlying prerequisites of REASON and PURPOSE that are the foundation of self-esteem and like any structure built without a proper foundation, it will surely crumble at the first true challenge.
As a rational human being, which it is your choice to be, you will realize that your highest moral purpose is your own happiness. Note that I am NOT talking about hedonistic pleasure or any false value that would be obtained at someone else's expense. Neither of these have anything to do with true happiness.
Armed with this certainty of purpose and the self-esteem that helps you to be secure that you deserve to be happy, you will be optimally aligned to achieve your true potential to be the HERO OF YOUR OWN LIFE.
Jun 12, 2013
Jan 15, 2013
PURPOSE = Empowerment.
PURPOSE = Empowerment.
I will keep those first things first in my life, every day by choosing to think and act in accordance with reason, PURPOSE and self-esteem
*******************************************
Reason is the tool that we must use to navigate through the many choices that we need to make throughout our lives in order to first survive and then to achieve happy lives, the latter being, or should be everyone's ultimate PURPOSE.
Happiness, as an end however, can only be achieved once an individual has taken the time to carefully and thoroughly do the introspection to determine specifically what it will take to make them happy.
The defining of this PURPOSE is perhaps one of, if not the most empowering things that anyone will ever do, for many reasons, not the least of which is that they can stop wasting time on things that don't serve this purpose.
In previous writings, I have suggested that the secret to happiness is, simply to "do and be your best", and I still believe this to be the case, albeit, this may be incomplete as a concept.
Truly doing your best will actually be far less of an effort and actually become pleasurable, without the need for huge amounts of self discipline if you are properly aligned with a clear purpose.
The saying goes, "find something you love, and you'll never have to work another day in your life".
I compare this alignment to water flow. Misalignment is like a kink in the hose. You can get water through it, but it will require a lot of discipline, perseverance and just plain hard work which will result in the water getting through IF you don't get too tired or discouraged first.
With no kink in the hose... well it just "flows". (In fact there is a book entitled "Flow" with the term being used to describe the fulfilled happy state that someone experiences when they are doing something they are so passionate about that they are completely "in the moment".)
Likewise, with clarity of purpose, we stop operating with one foot on the gas and one on the brake, and we achieve far beyond what we could without this clarity, but more importantly we are happy in the process and not just the end result.
In closing, on the subject that it should be self-evident that our own happiness should be our ultimate purpose, note that, for many that is not the case, and in my next entry, I will show that this is a result of lack of SELF-ESTEEM due to buying into the altruistic philosophy that self sacrifice is a virtue.
Thanks again for reading. Comments are always welcome!
I will keep those first things first in my life, every day by choosing to think and act in accordance with reason, PURPOSE and self-esteem
*******************************************
Reason is the tool that we must use to navigate through the many choices that we need to make throughout our lives in order to first survive and then to achieve happy lives, the latter being, or should be everyone's ultimate PURPOSE.
Happiness, as an end however, can only be achieved once an individual has taken the time to carefully and thoroughly do the introspection to determine specifically what it will take to make them happy.
The defining of this PURPOSE is perhaps one of, if not the most empowering things that anyone will ever do, for many reasons, not the least of which is that they can stop wasting time on things that don't serve this purpose.
In previous writings, I have suggested that the secret to happiness is, simply to "do and be your best", and I still believe this to be the case, albeit, this may be incomplete as a concept.
Truly doing your best will actually be far less of an effort and actually become pleasurable, without the need for huge amounts of self discipline if you are properly aligned with a clear purpose.
The saying goes, "find something you love, and you'll never have to work another day in your life".
I compare this alignment to water flow. Misalignment is like a kink in the hose. You can get water through it, but it will require a lot of discipline, perseverance and just plain hard work which will result in the water getting through IF you don't get too tired or discouraged first.
With no kink in the hose... well it just "flows". (In fact there is a book entitled "Flow" with the term being used to describe the fulfilled happy state that someone experiences when they are doing something they are so passionate about that they are completely "in the moment".)
Likewise, with clarity of purpose, we stop operating with one foot on the gas and one on the brake, and we achieve far beyond what we could without this clarity, but more importantly we are happy in the process and not just the end result.
In closing, on the subject that it should be self-evident that our own happiness should be our ultimate purpose, note that, for many that is not the case, and in my next entry, I will show that this is a result of lack of SELF-ESTEEM due to buying into the altruistic philosophy that self sacrifice is a virtue.
Thanks again for reading. Comments are always welcome!
Dec 9, 2012
REASON: A spiritual principle.
I will keep those first things first in my life, every day by choosing to think and act in accordance with REASON, purpose and self-esteem
*********************************************************************
People often draw a separation between material and spiritual realms.
If I understand what people imply by this, it seems as though what is being suggested is that there are two separate dimensions of reality, one that is concrete and one, supposedly on some sort of higher plane (whatever that means), which is above reality. (something above reality or supernatural makes no sense to me, as, if something actually exists, then it is by definition, part of nature, if I understand nature to be 'everything that exists')
Other people will say, "I'm not religious, but I'm 'spiritual', but any definitions of spiritual I've seen in this context seem nebulous at best.
In my view, spiritual and material values are simply two different aspects of one reality.
First of all, I don't think accepting spiritual principles requires any type of blind faith. Spiritual principles are simply aspects of reality that are not corporeal but which self-evidently exist and have profound effects on our quality of life. You can't touch, feel, smell, or draw a picture of spiritual principles such as honesty, willingness, courage, REASON, happiness, enthusiasm, etc. and we may even debate their exact meanings, but no one will suggest that these principles do not exist, or that one needs to accept them on blind faith.
And material objects, those created by men, are simply the material embodiment of those spiritual principles. I consider a Ferrari, an elaborate financial plan, an iPad or a well built home to be profoundly spiritual. They are the direct result of what Stephen Covey referred to in his second habit, "Begin with the end in mind", in which he asserts correctly that there are always two creations, first in one's mind, and then the actual material product.
To the degreee that a material result is good, in that it represents excellence and quality (two other spiritual principles)is the degree to which its creation was aligned with proper principles.
Note the contrast between a beautiful, well designed, and properly maintained home and a crack house, and you will see how proper spiritual principles differ from the lack thereof, or from deeply negative principles.
Note the financial/material result for clients of a well executed financial plan vs. the result produced for Bernie Madoff's clients, and you will see the same contrast.
REASON, is first and foremost the spriritual principle that leads to optimum results, in that it is the principle that is required in order for us to deal with reality properly, (choosing to think from my last post) and to achieve the productivity (another principle)of material goods that enhance life quality.
Thanks again, for reading.... comments are welcome.
*********************************************************************
People often draw a separation between material and spiritual realms.
If I understand what people imply by this, it seems as though what is being suggested is that there are two separate dimensions of reality, one that is concrete and one, supposedly on some sort of higher plane (whatever that means), which is above reality. (something above reality or supernatural makes no sense to me, as, if something actually exists, then it is by definition, part of nature, if I understand nature to be 'everything that exists')
Other people will say, "I'm not religious, but I'm 'spiritual', but any definitions of spiritual I've seen in this context seem nebulous at best.
In my view, spiritual and material values are simply two different aspects of one reality.
First of all, I don't think accepting spiritual principles requires any type of blind faith. Spiritual principles are simply aspects of reality that are not corporeal but which self-evidently exist and have profound effects on our quality of life. You can't touch, feel, smell, or draw a picture of spiritual principles such as honesty, willingness, courage, REASON, happiness, enthusiasm, etc. and we may even debate their exact meanings, but no one will suggest that these principles do not exist, or that one needs to accept them on blind faith.
And material objects, those created by men, are simply the material embodiment of those spiritual principles. I consider a Ferrari, an elaborate financial plan, an iPad or a well built home to be profoundly spiritual. They are the direct result of what Stephen Covey referred to in his second habit, "Begin with the end in mind", in which he asserts correctly that there are always two creations, first in one's mind, and then the actual material product.
To the degreee that a material result is good, in that it represents excellence and quality (two other spiritual principles)is the degree to which its creation was aligned with proper principles.
Note the contrast between a beautiful, well designed, and properly maintained home and a crack house, and you will see how proper spiritual principles differ from the lack thereof, or from deeply negative principles.
Note the financial/material result for clients of a well executed financial plan vs. the result produced for Bernie Madoff's clients, and you will see the same contrast.
REASON, is first and foremost the spriritual principle that leads to optimum results, in that it is the principle that is required in order for us to deal with reality properly, (choosing to think from my last post) and to achieve the productivity (another principle)of material goods that enhance life quality.
Thanks again, for reading.... comments are welcome.
Dec 1, 2012
CHOOSING TO THINK
I will keep those first things first in my life, every day by CHOOSING TO THINK and act in accordance with reason, purpose and self-esteem
**************************************************************************
Thinking is not automatic. Thinking, in my opinion means facing reality as it is, not as we wish it were.
Not choosing to think is popularly known as "being in denial". Denying reality is the first step to causing all of our own problems and of hurting other people in the process.
Most of all, denial is a choice. It is the choice that precedes all evil acts and the choice that prevents us from courageously performing virtuous acts.
Unless you are a psychopath, you are unable to commit an evil act with full consciousness. You first need to somehow rationalize or justify through the use of denial, in effect by choosing not to think. That decision, that choice not to think, is then the actual moral choice which is wrong, and which we must avoid in oder to avoid consequences to ourselves and others.
Choosing to think, is the first step to the achievement of our personal values which will lead to our happiness. No matter how unpleasant any aspect of reality may appear, it pales in comparison to the consequences of not dealing with it. I think this is what Ayn Rand meant when she stated, "I'm not brave enough to be a coward".
Happiness (spiritual 'wealth') 'is the result of man's capacity to think". However, the capacity to think is only potential until one makes that daily and even momentary choice to actually do it.
Thanks for reading!
**************************************************************************
Thinking is not automatic. Thinking, in my opinion means facing reality as it is, not as we wish it were.
Not choosing to think is popularly known as "being in denial". Denying reality is the first step to causing all of our own problems and of hurting other people in the process.
Most of all, denial is a choice. It is the choice that precedes all evil acts and the choice that prevents us from courageously performing virtuous acts.
Unless you are a psychopath, you are unable to commit an evil act with full consciousness. You first need to somehow rationalize or justify through the use of denial, in effect by choosing not to think. That decision, that choice not to think, is then the actual moral choice which is wrong, and which we must avoid in oder to avoid consequences to ourselves and others.
Choosing to think, is the first step to the achievement of our personal values which will lead to our happiness. No matter how unpleasant any aspect of reality may appear, it pales in comparison to the consequences of not dealing with it. I think this is what Ayn Rand meant when she stated, "I'm not brave enough to be a coward".
Happiness (spiritual 'wealth') 'is the result of man's capacity to think". However, the capacity to think is only potential until one makes that daily and even momentary choice to actually do it.
Thanks for reading!
Nov 15, 2012
FIRST THINGS
I will keep FIRST THINGS first every day by choosing to think and act in accordance with reason, purpose and self-esteem
***********************************
FIRST THINGS as per Stephen R. Covey, among others are those things that "matter most".
They are the "oughta's" that are often displaced by the "gotta's"... as in "I really 'oughta' _________ but I never find the time because I 'gotta' ___________.
First off, to be a FIRST THING, it has to be YOUR first thing, not someone else's expectation of you that you feel you 'oughta' do to make them happy, or have them like you. (see previous post on second handers)..... in fact if it is someone else's then it's by definition one of those 'gotta's'.
'Gotta's' are an illusion.... we only think we 'gotta' in many if not most cases, when in reality the consequence for not doing this is minor at worst, neutral in many cases, and very often actually beneficial as it will allow us to focus on true FIRST THINGS.
FIRST THINGS, can be defined simply as anything that you will eventually say, "I'm glad I did this!".... or, very tragically in some cases, since life is short, "I really wish I had....".
The next few posts will deal more with why this needs to be a daily focus and why it all starts with a CHOICE to think!
Thanks for reading!
***********************************
FIRST THINGS as per Stephen R. Covey, among others are those things that "matter most".
They are the "oughta's" that are often displaced by the "gotta's"... as in "I really 'oughta' _________ but I never find the time because I 'gotta' ___________.
First off, to be a FIRST THING, it has to be YOUR first thing, not someone else's expectation of you that you feel you 'oughta' do to make them happy, or have them like you. (see previous post on second handers)..... in fact if it is someone else's then it's by definition one of those 'gotta's'.
'Gotta's' are an illusion.... we only think we 'gotta' in many if not most cases, when in reality the consequence for not doing this is minor at worst, neutral in many cases, and very often actually beneficial as it will allow us to focus on true FIRST THINGS.
FIRST THINGS, can be defined simply as anything that you will eventually say, "I'm glad I did this!".... or, very tragically in some cases, since life is short, "I really wish I had....".
The next few posts will deal more with why this needs to be a daily focus and why it all starts with a CHOICE to think!
Thanks for reading!
Oct 24, 2012
Prime Movers vs. SECOND HANDERS
I will begin always with my end in mind , so that I may continually evaluate what the true priorities are in MY life, taking care not to be a SECOND HANDER or a people pleaser.
***************************************************************************
The working title for Ayn Rand's novel The Fountainhead, was Second Hand Lives.
In this book she suggests that some people, a small minority, are prime movers.... people, if you will, who "make things happen", and others, unfortunately the majority, let other people do their thinking for them, and just go with the flow.
There is a saying, that there are three types of people in the world: people who make things happen, people who watch things happen, and people who wonder what the hell happened.
There is also a song lyric, by John Mellencamp, "If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything!"
Prime movers, don't follow the crowd, in fact they are often against the current, although that is not their intent; (being rebellious for the sake of it, is still just a reaction to the crowd, rather than thinking for yourself)but, tragically, independent thinking is not very common. They are called prime movers, because they are the individuals who move the world, the Galileo's, Newton's, Edison's, Gates' and Jobs'. These folks often face criticism, ridicule and often outright persecution. Many are not recognized for their greatness until after their death.
Second handers, on the other hand, want to avoid criticism, ridicule, etc. and so aim to please others, fit in and not "rock the boat", usually not even taking the time to think through the consequences of their actions (or lack thereof). They assume that what the majority believes, or what some alleged religious or social authority dictates is not to be questioned and so they live lives that are not truly their own, but are "second handed". In this respect, they are choosing to not only avoid taking the time to consider the consequences of their second handedness, but they are choosing not to think at all. (which is very dangerous for a human being, since our mind is our tool of survival.)
It is tragic, as a person's OWN life is a precious thing to hand over to others, but even more so, because there are only too many who understand how easy it is to manipulate these individuals and are only too willing to do so, to their own ends.
Ayn Rand said, "He who preaches sacrifice is usually the beneficiary of that sacrifice" (paraphrased)
Peer pressure is a powerful thing and something that youth is known for falling prey to, easily, but in fact most of us never fully grow out of it, which is why this section of my vision statement, specifically states: "...continually evaluate what the true priorities are in MY life, taking care not to be a SECOND HANDER..."
Thanks for reading!
***************************************************************************
The working title for Ayn Rand's novel The Fountainhead, was Second Hand Lives.
In this book she suggests that some people, a small minority, are prime movers.... people, if you will, who "make things happen", and others, unfortunately the majority, let other people do their thinking for them, and just go with the flow.
There is a saying, that there are three types of people in the world: people who make things happen, people who watch things happen, and people who wonder what the hell happened.
There is also a song lyric, by John Mellencamp, "If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything!"
Prime movers, don't follow the crowd, in fact they are often against the current, although that is not their intent; (being rebellious for the sake of it, is still just a reaction to the crowd, rather than thinking for yourself)but, tragically, independent thinking is not very common. They are called prime movers, because they are the individuals who move the world, the Galileo's, Newton's, Edison's, Gates' and Jobs'. These folks often face criticism, ridicule and often outright persecution. Many are not recognized for their greatness until after their death.
Second handers, on the other hand, want to avoid criticism, ridicule, etc. and so aim to please others, fit in and not "rock the boat", usually not even taking the time to think through the consequences of their actions (or lack thereof). They assume that what the majority believes, or what some alleged religious or social authority dictates is not to be questioned and so they live lives that are not truly their own, but are "second handed". In this respect, they are choosing to not only avoid taking the time to consider the consequences of their second handedness, but they are choosing not to think at all. (which is very dangerous for a human being, since our mind is our tool of survival.)
It is tragic, as a person's OWN life is a precious thing to hand over to others, but even more so, because there are only too many who understand how easy it is to manipulate these individuals and are only too willing to do so, to their own ends.
Ayn Rand said, "He who preaches sacrifice is usually the beneficiary of that sacrifice" (paraphrased)
Peer pressure is a powerful thing and something that youth is known for falling prey to, easily, but in fact most of us never fully grow out of it, which is why this section of my vision statement, specifically states: "...continually evaluate what the true priorities are in MY life, taking care not to be a SECOND HANDER..."
Thanks for reading!
Oct 7, 2012
MY LIFE
I will begin always with my end in mind , so that I may continually evaluate what the true priorities are in MY LIFE, taking care not to be a second hander or a people pleaser.
*********************************************************************************
I am going to die.
Hopefully, not any time soon, but sooner than I would like, no matter when it does happen. MY LIFE is limited, and I have no way of knowing just how limited. Every day that I wake up is a reason to be very grateful.
Death deFINES life, meaning that is what prevents it from being INFINITE.
If I were immortal, then the concept of MY LIFE would have no value. Since a value is something that someone seeks to gain, or strives to avoid losing, immortality would make this irrelevant.
However, loving life, is not the same as avoiding death. There is not just the matter of losing my life, but of wasting it, which I think is worse.
Ultimately, my highest moral purpose is to achieve my own happiness during my limited life. My own happiness is not a matter of seeking thrills or mindless pleasures but of reaching my full potential as a human being. I believe my full potential will be reached in finding a balance between producing, relaxing, having fun and achieving personal growth financially, physically, emotionally, mentally and socially. If I choose to express this more succintly, my happiness will be earned by doing my best!
My happiness will not be reached by sacrificing for other people's happiness, nor will it be reached by exploiting anyone. My happiness in not in conflict with anyone else's, in fact, the happiness of people I love and respect contributes significantly to my own, but their happiness is their moral purpose and responsibility and my happiness is mine.
I am always acutely aware that many people lost their lives fighting for freedom, because they preferred to risk their lives rather than to live in a world where freedom was threatened. This is a lesson, that shows that a life where one cannot freely act to gain their own happiness is worse than death. "Give me liberty or give me death". (Patrick Henry)
Because I am aware that my own freedom was earned through these people, I would consider it an insult to their memories to waste my own life..... and so I hope that if I can leave any type of legacy it will be to provide some type of inspiration for future generations to do the best they can to earn their own happiness.
*********************************************************************************
I am going to die.
Hopefully, not any time soon, but sooner than I would like, no matter when it does happen. MY LIFE is limited, and I have no way of knowing just how limited. Every day that I wake up is a reason to be very grateful.
Death deFINES life, meaning that is what prevents it from being INFINITE.
If I were immortal, then the concept of MY LIFE would have no value. Since a value is something that someone seeks to gain, or strives to avoid losing, immortality would make this irrelevant.
However, loving life, is not the same as avoiding death. There is not just the matter of losing my life, but of wasting it, which I think is worse.
Ultimately, my highest moral purpose is to achieve my own happiness during my limited life. My own happiness is not a matter of seeking thrills or mindless pleasures but of reaching my full potential as a human being. I believe my full potential will be reached in finding a balance between producing, relaxing, having fun and achieving personal growth financially, physically, emotionally, mentally and socially. If I choose to express this more succintly, my happiness will be earned by doing my best!
My happiness will not be reached by sacrificing for other people's happiness, nor will it be reached by exploiting anyone. My happiness in not in conflict with anyone else's, in fact, the happiness of people I love and respect contributes significantly to my own, but their happiness is their moral purpose and responsibility and my happiness is mine.
I am always acutely aware that many people lost their lives fighting for freedom, because they preferred to risk their lives rather than to live in a world where freedom was threatened. This is a lesson, that shows that a life where one cannot freely act to gain their own happiness is worse than death. "Give me liberty or give me death". (Patrick Henry)
Because I am aware that my own freedom was earned through these people, I would consider it an insult to their memories to waste my own life..... and so I hope that if I can leave any type of legacy it will be to provide some type of inspiration for future generations to do the best they can to earn their own happiness.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
