I will keep FIRST THINGS first every day by choosing to think and act in accordance with reason, purpose and self-esteem
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FIRST THINGS as per Stephen R. Covey, among others are those things that "matter most".
They are the "oughta's" that are often displaced by the "gotta's"... as in "I really 'oughta' _________ but I never find the time because I 'gotta' ___________.
First off, to be a FIRST THING, it has to be YOUR first thing, not someone else's expectation of you that you feel you 'oughta' do to make them happy, or have them like you. (see previous post on second handers)..... in fact if it is someone else's then it's by definition one of those 'gotta's'.
'Gotta's' are an illusion.... we only think we 'gotta' in many if not most cases, when in reality the consequence for not doing this is minor at worst, neutral in many cases, and very often actually beneficial as it will allow us to focus on true FIRST THINGS.
FIRST THINGS, can be defined simply as anything that you will eventually say, "I'm glad I did this!".... or, very tragically in some cases, since life is short, "I really wish I had....".
The next few posts will deal more with why this needs to be a daily focus and why it all starts with a CHOICE to think!
Thanks for reading!
Nov 15, 2012
Oct 24, 2012
Prime Movers vs. SECOND HANDERS
I will begin always with my end in mind , so that I may continually evaluate what the true priorities are in MY life, taking care not to be a SECOND HANDER or a people pleaser.
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The working title for Ayn Rand's novel The Fountainhead, was Second Hand Lives.
In this book she suggests that some people, a small minority, are prime movers.... people, if you will, who "make things happen", and others, unfortunately the majority, let other people do their thinking for them, and just go with the flow.
There is a saying, that there are three types of people in the world: people who make things happen, people who watch things happen, and people who wonder what the hell happened.
There is also a song lyric, by John Mellencamp, "If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything!"
Prime movers, don't follow the crowd, in fact they are often against the current, although that is not their intent; (being rebellious for the sake of it, is still just a reaction to the crowd, rather than thinking for yourself)but, tragically, independent thinking is not very common. They are called prime movers, because they are the individuals who move the world, the Galileo's, Newton's, Edison's, Gates' and Jobs'. These folks often face criticism, ridicule and often outright persecution. Many are not recognized for their greatness until after their death.
Second handers, on the other hand, want to avoid criticism, ridicule, etc. and so aim to please others, fit in and not "rock the boat", usually not even taking the time to think through the consequences of their actions (or lack thereof). They assume that what the majority believes, or what some alleged religious or social authority dictates is not to be questioned and so they live lives that are not truly their own, but are "second handed". In this respect, they are choosing to not only avoid taking the time to consider the consequences of their second handedness, but they are choosing not to think at all. (which is very dangerous for a human being, since our mind is our tool of survival.)
It is tragic, as a person's OWN life is a precious thing to hand over to others, but even more so, because there are only too many who understand how easy it is to manipulate these individuals and are only too willing to do so, to their own ends.
Ayn Rand said, "He who preaches sacrifice is usually the beneficiary of that sacrifice" (paraphrased)
Peer pressure is a powerful thing and something that youth is known for falling prey to, easily, but in fact most of us never fully grow out of it, which is why this section of my vision statement, specifically states: "...continually evaluate what the true priorities are in MY life, taking care not to be a SECOND HANDER..."
Thanks for reading!
***************************************************************************
The working title for Ayn Rand's novel The Fountainhead, was Second Hand Lives.
In this book she suggests that some people, a small minority, are prime movers.... people, if you will, who "make things happen", and others, unfortunately the majority, let other people do their thinking for them, and just go with the flow.
There is a saying, that there are three types of people in the world: people who make things happen, people who watch things happen, and people who wonder what the hell happened.
There is also a song lyric, by John Mellencamp, "If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything!"
Prime movers, don't follow the crowd, in fact they are often against the current, although that is not their intent; (being rebellious for the sake of it, is still just a reaction to the crowd, rather than thinking for yourself)but, tragically, independent thinking is not very common. They are called prime movers, because they are the individuals who move the world, the Galileo's, Newton's, Edison's, Gates' and Jobs'. These folks often face criticism, ridicule and often outright persecution. Many are not recognized for their greatness until after their death.
Second handers, on the other hand, want to avoid criticism, ridicule, etc. and so aim to please others, fit in and not "rock the boat", usually not even taking the time to think through the consequences of their actions (or lack thereof). They assume that what the majority believes, or what some alleged religious or social authority dictates is not to be questioned and so they live lives that are not truly their own, but are "second handed". In this respect, they are choosing to not only avoid taking the time to consider the consequences of their second handedness, but they are choosing not to think at all. (which is very dangerous for a human being, since our mind is our tool of survival.)
It is tragic, as a person's OWN life is a precious thing to hand over to others, but even more so, because there are only too many who understand how easy it is to manipulate these individuals and are only too willing to do so, to their own ends.
Ayn Rand said, "He who preaches sacrifice is usually the beneficiary of that sacrifice" (paraphrased)
Peer pressure is a powerful thing and something that youth is known for falling prey to, easily, but in fact most of us never fully grow out of it, which is why this section of my vision statement, specifically states: "...continually evaluate what the true priorities are in MY life, taking care not to be a SECOND HANDER..."
Thanks for reading!
Oct 7, 2012
MY LIFE
I will begin always with my end in mind , so that I may continually evaluate what the true priorities are in MY LIFE, taking care not to be a second hander or a people pleaser.
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I am going to die.
Hopefully, not any time soon, but sooner than I would like, no matter when it does happen. MY LIFE is limited, and I have no way of knowing just how limited. Every day that I wake up is a reason to be very grateful.
Death deFINES life, meaning that is what prevents it from being INFINITE.
If I were immortal, then the concept of MY LIFE would have no value. Since a value is something that someone seeks to gain, or strives to avoid losing, immortality would make this irrelevant.
However, loving life, is not the same as avoiding death. There is not just the matter of losing my life, but of wasting it, which I think is worse.
Ultimately, my highest moral purpose is to achieve my own happiness during my limited life. My own happiness is not a matter of seeking thrills or mindless pleasures but of reaching my full potential as a human being. I believe my full potential will be reached in finding a balance between producing, relaxing, having fun and achieving personal growth financially, physically, emotionally, mentally and socially. If I choose to express this more succintly, my happiness will be earned by doing my best!
My happiness will not be reached by sacrificing for other people's happiness, nor will it be reached by exploiting anyone. My happiness in not in conflict with anyone else's, in fact, the happiness of people I love and respect contributes significantly to my own, but their happiness is their moral purpose and responsibility and my happiness is mine.
I am always acutely aware that many people lost their lives fighting for freedom, because they preferred to risk their lives rather than to live in a world where freedom was threatened. This is a lesson, that shows that a life where one cannot freely act to gain their own happiness is worse than death. "Give me liberty or give me death". (Patrick Henry)
Because I am aware that my own freedom was earned through these people, I would consider it an insult to their memories to waste my own life..... and so I hope that if I can leave any type of legacy it will be to provide some type of inspiration for future generations to do the best they can to earn their own happiness.
*********************************************************************************
I am going to die.
Hopefully, not any time soon, but sooner than I would like, no matter when it does happen. MY LIFE is limited, and I have no way of knowing just how limited. Every day that I wake up is a reason to be very grateful.
Death deFINES life, meaning that is what prevents it from being INFINITE.
If I were immortal, then the concept of MY LIFE would have no value. Since a value is something that someone seeks to gain, or strives to avoid losing, immortality would make this irrelevant.
However, loving life, is not the same as avoiding death. There is not just the matter of losing my life, but of wasting it, which I think is worse.
Ultimately, my highest moral purpose is to achieve my own happiness during my limited life. My own happiness is not a matter of seeking thrills or mindless pleasures but of reaching my full potential as a human being. I believe my full potential will be reached in finding a balance between producing, relaxing, having fun and achieving personal growth financially, physically, emotionally, mentally and socially. If I choose to express this more succintly, my happiness will be earned by doing my best!
My happiness will not be reached by sacrificing for other people's happiness, nor will it be reached by exploiting anyone. My happiness in not in conflict with anyone else's, in fact, the happiness of people I love and respect contributes significantly to my own, but their happiness is their moral purpose and responsibility and my happiness is mine.
I am always acutely aware that many people lost their lives fighting for freedom, because they preferred to risk their lives rather than to live in a world where freedom was threatened. This is a lesson, that shows that a life where one cannot freely act to gain their own happiness is worse than death. "Give me liberty or give me death". (Patrick Henry)
Because I am aware that my own freedom was earned through these people, I would consider it an insult to their memories to waste my own life..... and so I hope that if I can leave any type of legacy it will be to provide some type of inspiration for future generations to do the best they can to earn their own happiness.
Sep 7, 2012
TRUE PRIORITIES
I will begin always with my end in mind , so that I may continually evaluate what the TRUE PRIORITIES are in MY life, taking care not to be a second hander or a people pleaser.
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I woke up this morning! I consider this to be an excellent turn of events for which I am very grateful.
Recently, I've been doing a lot of thinking about.... well, how we go about thinking. I realize more and more that the way human beings process information is by categorizing things into patterns. This enables us to assimilate large amounts of information that our brains could not otherwise handle as inidividual facts or units.
Obviously, this is very helpful, otherwise, it would be impossible to deal with the complexity that we are faced with every day, but it also comes with a caveat.
We should remember, imo, that these "patterns" only exist in our brains, and are not "actual" reality. I think that what we do is extrapolate from past patterns and come to expect that the pattern will simply repeat itself indefinitely. After all, that is our only point of reference, thus far.
A turkey on a farm would have a pattern that told it that the farmer is his friend. Every day the farmer feeds and shelters him, until one day, the farmer walks into the barn with an axe....
Every day of our lives, we've woken up. And, if you haven't yet been diagnosed with a serious illness or had a major accident, every day of your life, you've woken up in decent health. This pattern leads us to complacency, expecting subconsciously that it will always repeat itself. I say subconsciously, because intellectually every one knows that it will not be eternally true, but our "pattern" of reference, is what our experience has always been so that is what "feels real" to us. That's why when someone dies suddenly, loses a loved one, is diagnosed with a major illness, or has a serious accident, it is often described as a "shocking" event.
However, if you look at reality properly, it really shouldn't be shocking at all, because it happens every day.... (just not to us)
Knowing that all our lives will have major challenges, and of course, ultimately an end, the timing of which none of us can predict, can and should give you an entirely different perspective on what your TRUE PRIORITIES really are!
I don't like the expression, "live every day as though it were your last", because I wouldn't go to work that day for one thing.... I would prefer, "cherish every day as though it might be your last" and don't waste it on things that don't really matter, especially don't waste it worrying about little things that don't matter.... if you can keep proper perspective on what your own TRUE PRIORITIES are (each of us has to do their own work to determine what those are)you will be in "alignment" with reality. Just like every other example of alignment, it optimizes your effectiveness, your energy etc and will make you a much happier person!
It may at first be daunting to leave the comfortable denial pattern that we've cultivated, to think about all the bad things that not only might but will happen to us, but rather than allow reality to depress you, it should give you gratitude for every day these things don't happen, and even gratitude when they do happen for all the years that they didn't, as well as all the opportunities that you still have despite whatever challenges you may face.
Thanks for reading.
*******************************************
I woke up this morning! I consider this to be an excellent turn of events for which I am very grateful.
Recently, I've been doing a lot of thinking about.... well, how we go about thinking. I realize more and more that the way human beings process information is by categorizing things into patterns. This enables us to assimilate large amounts of information that our brains could not otherwise handle as inidividual facts or units.
Obviously, this is very helpful, otherwise, it would be impossible to deal with the complexity that we are faced with every day, but it also comes with a caveat.
We should remember, imo, that these "patterns" only exist in our brains, and are not "actual" reality. I think that what we do is extrapolate from past patterns and come to expect that the pattern will simply repeat itself indefinitely. After all, that is our only point of reference, thus far.
A turkey on a farm would have a pattern that told it that the farmer is his friend. Every day the farmer feeds and shelters him, until one day, the farmer walks into the barn with an axe....
Every day of our lives, we've woken up. And, if you haven't yet been diagnosed with a serious illness or had a major accident, every day of your life, you've woken up in decent health. This pattern leads us to complacency, expecting subconsciously that it will always repeat itself. I say subconsciously, because intellectually every one knows that it will not be eternally true, but our "pattern" of reference, is what our experience has always been so that is what "feels real" to us. That's why when someone dies suddenly, loses a loved one, is diagnosed with a major illness, or has a serious accident, it is often described as a "shocking" event.
However, if you look at reality properly, it really shouldn't be shocking at all, because it happens every day.... (just not to us)
Knowing that all our lives will have major challenges, and of course, ultimately an end, the timing of which none of us can predict, can and should give you an entirely different perspective on what your TRUE PRIORITIES really are!
I don't like the expression, "live every day as though it were your last", because I wouldn't go to work that day for one thing.... I would prefer, "cherish every day as though it might be your last" and don't waste it on things that don't really matter, especially don't waste it worrying about little things that don't matter.... if you can keep proper perspective on what your own TRUE PRIORITIES are (each of us has to do their own work to determine what those are)you will be in "alignment" with reality. Just like every other example of alignment, it optimizes your effectiveness, your energy etc and will make you a much happier person!
It may at first be daunting to leave the comfortable denial pattern that we've cultivated, to think about all the bad things that not only might but will happen to us, but rather than allow reality to depress you, it should give you gratitude for every day these things don't happen, and even gratitude when they do happen for all the years that they didn't, as well as all the opportunities that you still have despite whatever challenges you may face.
Thanks for reading.
Aug 9, 2012
Continually Evaluate
I will begin always with my end in mind , so that I may CONTINUALLY EVALUATE what the true priorities are in MY life, taking care not to be a second hander or a people pleaser.
**********************************************************
Modern life can be very hectic to say the least. Sometimes it feels like "the tail is wagging the dog, rather than the dog wagging the tail."
Because of this, it's only too easy to get caught up into repeating routines, out of sheer habit, long after the time where those routines have stopped producing desired results, or even more tragically, after the results we once desired are no longer our true priorities.
That's why keeping our "end in mind", what we ultimately want to accomplish, as well as making sure we are not confusing means and ends will give us the proper long term perspective. An example of confusing means and end is someone who has a goal of making a million dollars. This is not an end, it is simply a means to the end of improving life quality by giving choices, dignity, as well as the end of personal growth through overcoming the challenges that it takes to accomplish that "means". (all contributing to your highest moral purpose: your own happiness.)
That's why it is imperative to "continually evaluate" not only the effectiveness of our methods, but, as mentioned above, whether the "desired results" of the past, are still the results we desire.
Evaluating is when we step back and look at the bigger picture to ask, "What's it all about, Alfie?"
Doing this should prevent the insanity of "repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results" or what Stephen Covey referred to as "being busy climbing the ladder of success, only to get to the top and find that it is leaning against the wrong wall."
Also, by always being clear about our end in mind and the corresponding priorities that go with accomplishing it, we will remain motivated by a crystal clarity of purpose.
In future entries, I will visit how all this ties into the three cardinal principles as described by Ayn Rand: Reason, Purpose and Self-Esteem.
Thanks again for reading.
**********************************************************
Modern life can be very hectic to say the least. Sometimes it feels like "the tail is wagging the dog, rather than the dog wagging the tail."
Because of this, it's only too easy to get caught up into repeating routines, out of sheer habit, long after the time where those routines have stopped producing desired results, or even more tragically, after the results we once desired are no longer our true priorities.
That's why keeping our "end in mind", what we ultimately want to accomplish, as well as making sure we are not confusing means and ends will give us the proper long term perspective. An example of confusing means and end is someone who has a goal of making a million dollars. This is not an end, it is simply a means to the end of improving life quality by giving choices, dignity, as well as the end of personal growth through overcoming the challenges that it takes to accomplish that "means". (all contributing to your highest moral purpose: your own happiness.)
That's why it is imperative to "continually evaluate" not only the effectiveness of our methods, but, as mentioned above, whether the "desired results" of the past, are still the results we desire.
Evaluating is when we step back and look at the bigger picture to ask, "What's it all about, Alfie?"
Doing this should prevent the insanity of "repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results" or what Stephen Covey referred to as "being busy climbing the ladder of success, only to get to the top and find that it is leaning against the wrong wall."
Also, by always being clear about our end in mind and the corresponding priorities that go with accomplishing it, we will remain motivated by a crystal clarity of purpose.
In future entries, I will visit how all this ties into the three cardinal principles as described by Ayn Rand: Reason, Purpose and Self-Esteem.
Thanks again for reading.
Aug 5, 2012
Begin With MY End in MInd
I will BEGIN ALWAYS WITH MY END IN MIND, so that I may continually evaluate what the true priorities are in MY life, taking care not to be a second hander or a people pleaser.
Note: Credit to Stephen Covey... Habit #2 of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Begin with the end in mind.
Note: Credit to Ayn Rand.... "MY".
At this time, with the passing of Stephen Covey, even though I eventually came to disagree with some of his core premises, I obviously need to acknowledge the profound effect his teachings have had on my life, as reflected throughout the mission statement, the elaboration on which, form the nucleus of this blog.
Beginning with the end in mind, reflects the proper use of the mind in exercising the uniquely human ability to imagine various future outcomes to our choices and based on this, to choose the action that is most likely to result in our desired outcome.
That desired outcome may be based on a very short time frame, such as what we wish to accomplish in a given day, or even in one telephone conversation, but any short term goal, in order to conform to this principle, must also align with our ultimate life mission. (and this assumes one has taken the time to deliberately decide what that is)
While the details of life missions will be unique to each individual, I believe that everyone's highest moral purpose is the achievement of his own happiness. This principle comes from the influences of Ayn Rand who would have rejected Stephen Covey's religious premises.
This selfish outlook however, can only be accomplished in alignment with proper principles, meaning, in conjunction with a win win outlook (habit 3) which is, in my opinion, pretty much identical to Rand's rejection of sacrifice, either that of the individual to others, or of others to the individual.
MY end is my primary purpose, but I emphasize that MY end cannot be accomplished in a vacuum, and my happiness is maximized through my collaboration with, and through my loving relationships with the people that I choose to travel with on my life journey.
Rand saw principles as being aligned with objective reality and Covey saw his god as being the source of principles, but quickly added that many people, even in his own organization, while agreeing with the principles themselves, had differing opinions as to the source of those principles.
He pointed out that he not only accepted people's rights to hold differing opinions to his, but held them in reverence based on the fact that this was part of each person's quest to reach for the best within themselves.
Ayn Rand did once say in an interview with Phil Donohue, that she liked the expressions "Thank God." and "God Bless You.", not because she took them literally as she did not accept the supernatural, but because it reflected the "highest possible"
Thanks for reading.
Note: Credit to Stephen Covey... Habit #2 of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Begin with the end in mind.
Note: Credit to Ayn Rand.... "MY".
At this time, with the passing of Stephen Covey, even though I eventually came to disagree with some of his core premises, I obviously need to acknowledge the profound effect his teachings have had on my life, as reflected throughout the mission statement, the elaboration on which, form the nucleus of this blog.
Beginning with the end in mind, reflects the proper use of the mind in exercising the uniquely human ability to imagine various future outcomes to our choices and based on this, to choose the action that is most likely to result in our desired outcome.
That desired outcome may be based on a very short time frame, such as what we wish to accomplish in a given day, or even in one telephone conversation, but any short term goal, in order to conform to this principle, must also align with our ultimate life mission. (and this assumes one has taken the time to deliberately decide what that is)
While the details of life missions will be unique to each individual, I believe that everyone's highest moral purpose is the achievement of his own happiness. This principle comes from the influences of Ayn Rand who would have rejected Stephen Covey's religious premises.
This selfish outlook however, can only be accomplished in alignment with proper principles, meaning, in conjunction with a win win outlook (habit 3) which is, in my opinion, pretty much identical to Rand's rejection of sacrifice, either that of the individual to others, or of others to the individual.
MY end is my primary purpose, but I emphasize that MY end cannot be accomplished in a vacuum, and my happiness is maximized through my collaboration with, and through my loving relationships with the people that I choose to travel with on my life journey.
Rand saw principles as being aligned with objective reality and Covey saw his god as being the source of principles, but quickly added that many people, even in his own organization, while agreeing with the principles themselves, had differing opinions as to the source of those principles.
He pointed out that he not only accepted people's rights to hold differing opinions to his, but held them in reverence based on the fact that this was part of each person's quest to reach for the best within themselves.
Ayn Rand did once say in an interview with Phil Donohue, that she liked the expressions "Thank God." and "God Bless You.", not because she took them literally as she did not accept the supernatural, but because it reflected the "highest possible"
Thanks for reading.
Jul 22, 2012
Golden Opportunities in Disguise
I will be proactive and grateful, so that I may remain aware of, and profit from, all aspects of reality, ESPECIALLY those GOLDEN OPPORTUNITIES, that may be DISGUISED as hardships or problems.
In this blog, I strive to bring something to the reader that will be new and not rehash things that have been said countless times before. In this case, everyone, has heard, "look on the bright side of things", "the grey cloud with the silver lining" and "when one door closes, a window opens", which obviously are all variations on my title.
This is not to say that I don't agree with these; I emphatically do, but in my effort to bring something new, I want to truly accent the perspective that focuses on these in such a way as to actually look forward EXCITEDLY to "setbacks".
I bold the word "ESPECIALLY" above, to point out that I believe we need to go way beyond accepting and dealing with these things, all the way to realizing that in the long run, most of us will look back on these as the things that provided us with the most important lessons of our lives. Tony Robbins does say, "when we win, we party, and when we lose, we ponder"..... and if we "ponder" properly we can perhaps gain beyond our wildest expectations.
How many people have had their hearts broken only to go on and find the love of their lives and realize they were in a dysfunctional relationship; or been devastated to have been fired from a job, only to start the business they should have started years before.
There is a saying, "some day we will look back at this and laugh, so why not laugh now?"..... well, in that same vein, if "some day we will look back and realize this was a golden opportunity in diguise, why not have our antennas on to recognize and act on it, right now!
In this blog, I strive to bring something to the reader that will be new and not rehash things that have been said countless times before. In this case, everyone, has heard, "look on the bright side of things", "the grey cloud with the silver lining" and "when one door closes, a window opens", which obviously are all variations on my title.
This is not to say that I don't agree with these; I emphatically do, but in my effort to bring something new, I want to truly accent the perspective that focuses on these in such a way as to actually look forward EXCITEDLY to "setbacks".
I bold the word "ESPECIALLY" above, to point out that I believe we need to go way beyond accepting and dealing with these things, all the way to realizing that in the long run, most of us will look back on these as the things that provided us with the most important lessons of our lives. Tony Robbins does say, "when we win, we party, and when we lose, we ponder"..... and if we "ponder" properly we can perhaps gain beyond our wildest expectations.
How many people have had their hearts broken only to go on and find the love of their lives and realize they were in a dysfunctional relationship; or been devastated to have been fired from a job, only to start the business they should have started years before.
There is a saying, "some day we will look back at this and laugh, so why not laugh now?"..... well, in that same vein, if "some day we will look back and realize this was a golden opportunity in diguise, why not have our antennas on to recognize and act on it, right now!
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