Recently, I heard someone say that a leader's job is to take responsibility for solutions. Often, when there is a problem or challenge, there is a tendency to look to who caused that problem.
However, unless that particular information will form part of the solution, the energy spent assigning blame is a complete waste at best, or actually contributes to delaying the solution or even compounding the original problem.
This made perfect sense to me, but then it occured to me that this applies not just to business organizations or non profit organizations which is the context this particular speaker was referring to, but many other things as well.
In fact, as my wife and I engage in ballroom dancing, I could see the parralel in that, being a strong lead as part of a dance couple was a perfect application of these same principles. From that, I realized that ballroom dancing is an amazing opportunity to learn and apply leadership principles that will carry over into all aspects of my life.
The thing about dancing is that the feedback as to whether you're an effective leader or not is instantaneous and blatantly obvious. (if you take responsibility) When your role in business or as a parent for example demands leadership, your effectiveness in that role, or lack thereof, may not become obvious until you have the benefit of hindsight to evaluate your results. In fact, when the results are less than optimal, it is even easy with the deceptive perspective of significant time passed, to rationalize that the lack of results was justified. (Of all the people you can fool, it is easiest to fool yourself!)
Now, in dancing, I have often seen couples, and I must admit, I've been guilty of this more often than I would like to admit, stopped on the floor, debating which of them is making a mistake. (I've actually seen people storm off the floor!)
This, in fact, as with levying blame in business.... serves no purpose and only makes things worse.
The leader doesn't care whose fault it is, he simply takes responsibility for the solution. If I'm leading, (and I maintain this proper frame of mind), if the dance isn't smooth, it's my job to correct it. Now some of you may suggest that I'm taking more than my share of responsiblity as perhaps my wife is the one who has made the mistake.
I would respond to this in two ways..... first, I would say that, that information, regardless of whether it is true or not, is totally besides the point I'm trying to make. Secondly, those who know a little about ballroom dancing (especially the women) will know that, in fact, if my lead is "perfect", my partner's role becomes relatively easy; actually, it will be more difficult for her to make a mistake then to do it right. To do it wrong would require that she go against my lead to do it incorrectly which will feel very unnatural and forced to her. Conversely, when my lead falls short, the result is not neutral for her, it is an added challenge over and above her just knowing her steps, and just as she would have to resist a good lead to do it wrong, she now has to compensate for my errant leadership when my lead is weak in order to get it right. (almost impossible)
You see, one way or another, I'm always leading her in some direction... that is either in the right or wrong direction, never a neutral one. A leader is always helping or hurting... food for thought.
"Leadership would be easy if it weren't for people!"; "They're so irrational and difficult to deal with!". You may have heard these complaints, only half in jest.
When a musician makes a mistake, he doesn't blame his instrument.... it is an inanimate object.... alternatively, dealing with people is a greater challenge because they are far less predictable, (perhaps however, not as much as most people think.)
Learning to play a musical instrument is, in many ways, far easier than learning how to lead in dance. A friend of mine once told me, "my guitar is always in the mood".
But leadership is not about leading inanimate objects, it's about leading people with all their wonderful diversity of moods and motivations, and, in dancing, the person you are dealing with is right in front of you, and it is a wonderful opportunity (sometimes very humbling) to see just how good you really are with people. (as much or more than how good you are at dancing.)
If you tell your dance partner when something goes wrong, "my fault, I think I can get it better this time.", more often than not, she will say, "no, I think I messed up there, too." Your willingness to take responsibility will bring out her willingness to at least share it. I think you can guess what reaction assigning blame will create. (especially if you happen to be married to your dance partner.)
So, if, as a manager of the Financial Center with Sun Life, I get frustrated with my advisors for not behaving in the way I think they should be, I have to realize that as a leader, their behaviour is a mirror of my own shortcomings as a leader and I have to take responsibility for improvement. As a father, when I catch myself criticizing my adult children's behaviour, if I truly consider myself as a leader/father, then I better be careful in that department as well!
Certainly human beings have free will, and I'm not suggesting that one take on sole responsibility for everyone else's actions but.... as a leader, I will do my best not to waste time on assigning blame, but to look within when it comes to finding the solution.
A bumber sticker that reads "Dancing is Life"... might be closer to the truth than we might, at first think.
Thanks for reading!
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