In Praise of Ballroom Dancing

My wife and I have been taking ballroom dancing lessons for about eight years. This is one of the best decisions we have ever made.

In an earlier post, I talked about being people who are spectators rather than performers and watching life go by rather than living it. Dancing (or not dancing) are prime examples of this.

First off, as a social activity, dancing will put you in contact with a lot of great people. Typically, great people have great relationships, and couples who fight all the time are unlikely to take ballroom dance lessons.

From the point of view of an activity as a couple, this truly qualifies as being "as a couple"... few things are truly done together..... if you go to some event with your spouse, you are often experiencing it individually, and in some social events, conversations are with many people other than your spouse, and you may only actually talk to each other at the end of the evening to ask whether you had a good time. In some cases, men watch the game while women converse among themselves.

Ballroom dancing on the other hand is, by definition done together, you will spend time enjoying each other, and that includes some good and bad times, because you have to work as a team in a coordinated fashion or it won't work, obviously! Yes, this can be challenging as well as rewarding.

Now, I have good news and bad news for the men. Ballroom dancing is the last bastion of male dominance left in our society. When you're the man, it is your job to lead and the woman's job to follow. That's the good news, but before you celebrate too much, I need to tell you the bad news. When you lead, you have a lot of responsibility. If you make a mistake with your steps, it's your fault, when your partner makes a mistake, well, .... it's still your fault, because you didn't lead right! I'm only half joking here. For the woman, if she has a strong lead, her part becomes much easier, but if she is not being led properly, it is virtually impossible for her to do well.

The woman is the beautiful painting, and the man is the frame. The woman is the guitar, the man is the player. A guitar, even the finest instrument, can't play itself. A good guitar player will tell you that a fine instrument is, in fact, a joy to play and actually easier to play, but the very best instrument will still sound terrible in the hands of a mediocre player, and a great player will do wonders with a department store child's guitar.

What guitar players are taught is to have a "light touch", where they have a certain firmness but not overly rigid. New drivers are taught something very similar when it comes to holding the wheel. So it is with leading in dance. In this case, though, the instrument is far more wondrous in her intricacies as well as inner and outer beauty.

What one discovers when they go from being a spectator to being a performer, when it comes to music, is that to play music, sing, or dance, gives one a feeling of harmony with the universe. (perhaps that is true of going from being a spectator to a participant in anything?) What I've said to my wife Lorraine, is that I think there is a reason dance has been a part of human culture even from the most primitive tribes. It just seems like something our bodies were meant to do.... (ok, not at first, but after you start to get the hang of it), and that feeling of harmony, (the only word I can use to describe it), especially when shared with someone you care about is a truly magical feeling. Incidentally, singles can dance with other singles, with whom they have platonic relationships and often do, and although this relationship may always be platonic, you will still care about each other because you will be sharing true joy together.

At this point, I should point out that yours truly is still mediocre as a dancer at this point.

There is a joke about going to the circus and seeing an animal act where a dog walks on his hind legs. You're not impressed that he does it well, you're impressed that he does it at all! That pretty much describes my dancing talent! :o)

I have however progressed to the point where I can start to see the potential and appreciate what it holds, enough that I want to continually improve and to dance for as long as my physical abilities allow.

Finally, the point that motivated me to make this entry. Dancing is heroic! Ayn Rand often refers to man's proper nature as a heroic being, and when one thinks of the concretization of what a hero would look like, it is embodied so well, in the proud stance of great ballroom dancers, who display, the grace, the strength, the pride of a hero, in a way that glorifies human beings and what they are capable of. One might refer to this as "bigger than life" but it isn't bigger really.... this is how we are meant to be, and this is within all of our reaches. The accompanying video is of professionals but even when going to local dances, when I see the dancers who have taken the time to practice and improve the finer points of poise, hand positions and grace, it is truly inspirational and it just seems right that people should do this.

Going back to my earlier post about watching life rather than living it.... if you want to take a real bite into truly experiencing one of the greatest things in life, I cannot recommend this highly enough!

Look forward to comments!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2BEabWFZBE